Monday, March 31, 2008

Poetic Aftermath

I am not sorry I went to this past weekend's poetry conference, a supplement to the Santa Barbara Writer's Conference, because I did get some useful things out of it, but for my purposes I will say upfront that it was somewhat disappointing. I want to connect with publishers, and there were none at this event. I did talk to some of the instructors, and got some good advice, but on the whole this particular conference was very light on practical tools. It was more for people who are deeply serious about poetry, both as writers and readers, which I am, but not in quite the way that seems most common: I want to get my writing out there, not just sit around and talk about it, and I found the weekend frustrating for that reason.

Again, it was not a total loss. The guest of honor was Philip Levine, an American poet of great standing who has written and published since the 1930's. I was not familiar with his work, and I thought his writing was really lovely. The first event I attended on Saturday was a review of his career by the poet and critic Charles Buckley, and I found that stimulating. I also enjoyed the master class Mr. Levine led on Sunday, although I really don't like workshopping, either my own work or anyone else's. I just don't find it productive. Either you are writing or you are not, and dragging out something uncompleted for criticism makes me run screaming. It just does not work for me, and it can be dangerous. I am a supporter of the Artist's Way, the method of creative self-recovery developed by Julia Cameron, and I don't find it helpful to expose my work to outside and subjective criticism when it is in formative stages. Mr. Levine was extremely funny, but he did not hold back in telling the poets who offered their work up for his dissection exactly what he thought was wrong with their poems and what they needed to do to "fix" them. I just don't agree with that. He and some of the teachers and some of the participants at other workshops I went to were quick to offer opinions that served some abstract notion of what a poem should be without taking into account the aspect of self-expression they embody; in other words, a poem should express its maker at the stage of his creativity that he made it. Art is psychological and experiential, not some abstract ideal to strive for. It MUST be personal. I see nothing that a poet, no matter how great, can tell another to help him achieve that. Almost everyone whom I heard comment on anyone else's poetry the whole weekend either advocated taking huge chunks of material out of a piece, gutting it of everything interesting or individual, or they said they wanted more out of a particular piece, when it might be just fine in a compact form. It just seemed like there was no pleasing anyone: no matter what the work was, too long or too short, it was not right. The whole thing was an exercise in futility. It reminded me of a very bad art professor I had in college who, no matter what you had chosen to do for a project, would always spend your entire critique period offering up millions of alternatives of what else you could have done, and would never, ever comment on what you actually had done. It felt dismissive and narcissistic. Art is fundamentally choice: "I will write about King Arthur today, because that is what I want to do, and what works for me. " Never focusing on the artist's choice but instead offering a plethora of alternative choices negates what they did, in fact, choose to do. This conference experience just validated for me that I am in fact assured in my work. It may not be perfect, but it is me, and it says what I wanted it to say, and that is what I wanted to achieve. I think a lot of people hide in workshopping rather than actually finishing something. It turned out that two of the events I signed up for besides the master class were also workshops, and in one we each wrote a poem on the spot, and I was pleased with mine. I was happy that that came out, and I really liked my instructor for that one, Barry Spacks, but the general tone again ran to hacking away at people's work. It seems most people have a preference for streamlined modernist writing, and I don't, not at all. There are some exceptions, but I don't think it improves a poem to rip out all of the colorful modifying adjectives or arcane language. The second workshop had an instructor who shall remain nameless, because she seemed like a nice lady, but I did not agree with a single comment or criticism that she offered to anyone. She was one of the advocates of slash-and-burn, and I found it painful to listen to some of the things she advised people to do. In both workshops I frankly stated that I did not agree with much of what was said, and framed my response as a defense of a different aesthetic. To give her her credit, that instructor did say that it was entirely her opinion that she was offering and not any kind of directive or order. The deep play class I went to on Saturday evening had some fun elements to it, but I just was not in the right headspace for it, and got very bored. That was mostly my fault, I think. I was very tired by that point because I had such a busy week doing edits on my books that I just ran out of steam. It also covered a lot of things I have done before in similar exercises, and it just did not retain my attention. The final workshop I attended was called Talking to God, and while I really loved the poetry that the instructor chose and found some of the discourse effective, it was somewhat spoiled for me by two things. One, a lady attended who was a very vocal atheist and she offered up some commentary about how bad religion is and how mindless are those who follow it. As something of a theologian, I took exception to that, and said so. I don't attend atheist events and deride their opinions so I felt rather offended that she came to a workshop with "God" in the title and aggressively inserted her negative assessment. The topic was clearly advertised, and that seemed like she was deliberately trying to stir something up. She said that she liked that instructor and he is the reason she came, fair enough, and when she was asked why she felt as she did, she had very compelling reasons. I just found it an unwelcome distraction. The second thing that bothered me was that the subject of Islam came up, and there was some editorializing about it that I found offensive, including two people calling the Koran "stupid." I love Sufism, and I considered that a really unacceptable thing to say, and rose up in defense of Mohammed, as well.

The setting for the conference was beautiful, the Casa de Maria retreat center in Montecito just outside of Santa Barbara. However, I guess I am just too much of a city girl, used to access to things like ATM's and city buses. It felt a little too isolated and self-contained for me. There was not even any cellphone reception. The buildings at the center were also very depressing to me. They had been furnished in the early '80's and the main hall and some other spaces had the feel of a dentist's office. I could not wait to get out of them. The hike exercise was lovely, and I generated some interesting material from it, but I doubt that it will really go anywhere because it was very site-specific.

I think what it boils down to is that this conference was a little too touchy-feely for me. It felt too much like Poetry Camp instead of a professional networking event. I am looking for concrete tools and it simply did not have enough. Lesson learned. I was going on my experience with past conferences and will do more research in the future before I spend my time and money. Lots of attendees seemed very happy with it, and there were many who said they attend it year after year, but I won't be one of them.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Play on Words

I told my housemate this morning that I am going to a poetry conference over the weekend, and he replied, "Well, since you wrote a 600-page poem, that seems appropriate." Pretty funny.

I am looking forward to this. It's a professional event, but there is a fun aspect to it, too. For one, I'm a word nerd, and it's fun to think about writing all weekend. Also, some of the events sound really cool. Topics of workshops I am signed up for include talking to God through creativity, finding poetic meaning in the "cracks in our lives," and a poetry hike - we walk around the grounds of the lovely old retreat center outside of Santa Barbara and get inspired. I also have a nuts and bolts workshop about rewriting and refining poetic work. The keynote speaker is Philip Levine, a poet who is published by Knopf, and he will be reading some of his recent work on Saturday night.

I am taking the bus to Santa Barbara because it is the best way to relax instead of having to deal with traffic. I have my manuscript of The Flower of Knighthood to read on the way up, and about two hours to enjoy doing so.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Things Are Really Much Better Now, Thank You

I am making the very last of the lost corrections to The Flower of Knighthood right now, and am printing the manuscript in sections to take home with me tonight. I will have at least one draft copy ready by tomorrow to take to the poetry conference, and will take many copies of my ten-page sample. I don't think I will be able to proofread the entire manuscript by tomorrow night to make ultimately sure I have it perfect, but I will have something presentable.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Things Are Not As Bad As They Seemed

Well, my editing issue with The Flower of Knighthood is not as bad as I feared. When I found a few pages yesterday in the very middle of the book where I knew I had made edits, but upon checking realized the passages still reflected the older draft version, I thought I was in deep trouble and that there were problems with the whole editing process. However, I sat down last night and made it through four-fifths of the manuscript checking my edits, and it really is only about ten pages that were not updated properly. It seems that I must have just failed to save one day's work properly, which is a huge relief. Disaster averted; I should be able to take my entire updated draft manuscript with me to the conference. Yaay!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Editing Millstone

Well, I did indeed finish my latest edit round of The Flower of Knighthood, and I discovered looking back through it that somehow some changes in the middle were never saved. I am not sure how extensive the problem is, and I will have to go back through all of it to determine how big the missed section is. I have a crunch this week to get this done by the time I start for Santa Barbara Friday night for the conference. I am determined to have something ready to take with me, but it may have to be my ten-page sample section at this point.

Editing Milestones

I just finished the latest round of edits for The Flower of Knighthood. I am printing a proof copy right now to go over with a fine-toothed comb to make sure I made all of the changes I needed to, which I have to finish at least to some degree by this weekend, because my Santa Barbara poetry conference starts on the 28th and I want to take copies of my book. I've been working on these latest edits since January, and it feels really good to have finished them.

I also am one third of the way through my first edit of Parsifal. That also feels great. I focused on writing it for so long that when I finished, I blew off some steam by taking some classes and doing some other activities, such as starting this blog. I did not really take a break, but I did ease up on my super-concentrated efforts of writing, and I needed to do that, so I am kind of surprised that I have gotten so much editing done in the last two months. I feel very highly motivated, and as I said in an earlier post, my style has gelled more over the course of the second book, so the editing, while intense, is easier than on the first book, because I know a lot more of what I am doing now.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Operative Word in Self-Publishing is "Self"

As I do more and more research, I am honestly starting to think that publishing my books independently is the best way to go. The tide seems to be headed that way. Writers have always fought to get their vision out into the world without having it compromised somewhere along the way by interests other than their own creative ones. They have also usually had to go to third parties to make their books real because it was cost-prohibitive to create and distribute literary works, but that is changing. There is still some stigma against writers who self-publish, but that needs to change, too, and I think it will in the near future with the evolutions that the internet has brought so quickly. Musicians and filmmakers have gained respect for creating their works independently. Writers need to be given the same respect as well. The studio and label systems don't often work for the most creative people. They are processes that take control from a visionary and put it in the hands of a commerically-interested committee, and the publishing system is the same. How can someone else tell me how my books should be presented? They can't, is the only answer to that. No one else knows, because a book with a sole author is even more personal than an album or film. I want respect for my work and self-development in its process rather than the riches I might (or might not) accrue from acceding control. It's one thing if a book is non-fiction, or if the author truly does not care about things like how it is promoted or presented, but I do.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

More About Editing

I am editing both of my books simultaneously, which is an interesting process. I am working on first edits for Parsifal, and am walking around with a hard-copy markup version of sections of the manuscript (it's 600 pages long, so I only carry around one quarter of it at a time). I work on reading and proofing it when I have time. I am also working on what I devoutly hope are final edits to The Flower of Knighthood, and I type in those changes when I have time for that. I said earlier that I realized in writing the second book that there were some changes I could make to the first one that would improve it, and that is carrying through the editing process, too. Comparing them as I move back and forth between them is enlightening. They are similar in style, but they have some deep differences, too. I remember the exact situations in my life from which they arose, and it is a developing curve of completion that has produced both of them. They fall in different points on that curve and I had diverse preoccupations at those times. I am improving both of them by working on them together; doing so is helping me formalize a tight, cohesive style that carries across multiple volumes. I can't wait to write the next one and see what happens there. I've also written a short new scene in Parsifal that gives closure late in the book to a small but significant plot point. Awesome.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A Courtly Challenge

I am going to set a challenge for myself here. I am planning to attend this conference in July:

http://www.uhb.fr/alc/ias/version_ang/ang_congresrennes.htm

One reason I want to go to it is that there will be publishers’ booths available. I figured it was logical to assume that publishers who would find it in their interests to exhibit at an Arthurian conference might likely be willing to publish my Arthurian books. The challenge I am going to give myself is to get my first book, The Flower of Knighthood, completely ready for self-publication in time to have it for this conference. That way I will either have a finished product ready for sale and can network with people I meet at the conference to distribute it directly, or I will have a perfectly finished sample product to show a publisher in order to convey my vision for the book. It sounds like a win-win to me. No matter what I ultimately decide to do, I’ll have something in completed form.

The other reason that I want to go to this is that it takes place in Rennes, the capital of Brittany in Northern France, and one of the activities offered is a visit to Mont St. Michel. My book Parsifal mentions both of those places, in passages I wrote last summer. I have been a member of the conference’s sponsor, the International Arthurian Society, off and on for several years, and renewed my membership back in November. I got a confirmation packet in the mail from them which included a flyer about this conference, and when I saw where it was taking place, I knew that I needed to try my best to go. More synchronicity, something I always pay attention to.

I am almost done with what I sincerely hope is the last round of edits on TFOK, and am trying to have them done in time for the poetry conference March 28-30 (see 2/25 post below) so I can take a few copies there as samples. That’s the first part of this larger goal: finish the edits, proofread the manuscript one last time, and print a few copies and have them bound at the copy store by March 28. Then I can move forward with the rest of the manuscript preparation process.

More Self-Publishing Research

I attended a self-publishing class last night at Los Angeles City College. It was very helpful and interesting. The gentleman who taught the class, Mike Rounds, showed us a book he had published through a commercial publishing house, and said he earns a royalty of eighty cents per copy sold. He also showed us a self-published book of his on a similar topic, and said he earns about eight dollars on each copy after his printing costs are taken out. He said he is equally responsible for the promotion on both books; the publishing house does nothing to promote the product they print and distribute - they produce hundreds of items, and it’s just another project to them. Even if he sells far fewer of the self-published books, he makes a lot more money on them, with less effort. He gives lectures and teaches classes in order to promote his work and instructs others how to do the same, and generates interest that way. The class covered everything you need to know before you make the decision to self-publish, and I also purchased a CD with more information in PDF format that I can print to create a checklist for more research. I still don’t know yet if I am going to pursue self-publishing or try to find a small press for my work, but I continue to prioritize my creative vision above any other concern. I want my words to be published the way I wrote them. I care what the bookcover looks like – I am commissioning an artist friend to develop a visual idea that I generated but don’t have the skills to create myself. A publisher won’t let the author have any say in the cover design. I care what font is used and I care what the layout looks like – again, things I would have no say over if I go with a commercial press. I don’t want to be just another project to a busy company. I am still daunted by the cost outlay upfront to produce a finished book product (it’s not terrible, but it is an investment, and I am a writer and not rich), and the amount of work I would need to do to ready the manuscript for printing and to distribute it once it was published. However, I also feel a sense of wild freedom at the thought of owning my books outright, and being the only person who has any say in how they are produced, promoted and distributed. It all boils down to this either/or: money upfront, less trouble and the credibility of being published by an established house VS creative control and the self-development of shepherding a project through every step of fruition. I know what my personal values are and I am starting to get a pretty clear picture of where this is headed.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Editing Progress

I am hopefully in my last round of edits of The Flower of Knighthood. The book is relatively small, only 150 pages long. I have redlined the manuscript completely, and I have finished typing in about 50 pages of the changes I noted for myself. I am also currently on the first comprehensive edit of Parsifal. It is much longer, 600 pages in manuscript form. I am 80 pages into making edits and proofreading it. I write notes sections in the back of each volume, too, to further develop ideas, and to explain some of the symbolism that I use. The notes in TFOK are finished, but I have a lot of work to do on the ones for Parsifal. The book may be a few pages longer by the time I trim the text but add the notes. Whatever happens, it ended up being at least twice as long as I expected. I hope to finish the TFOK edits completely by the end of March when I go to the poetry conference, and I hope to finish the first round of Parsifal edits by late spring.